Last year I kind of had a theme of sharing certainty, and this year I've been moving in a direction I finally accepted was showing pity on anyone who is actually a fan of me or my research. If you're a fan, um, sorry.
It's a very frustrating situation, and it occurs to me I should show more concern other than explaining yet again how I don't need mathematicians, not helpful for fans I'm sure. Or explain even more why I'm not so much interested in fans personally but would like fans of my research. Yet do I really help fans of my research out, if they exist, by for the most part simply explaining things over and over again in blog posts here?
But I'm not sure what's helpful for someone who wants to cheer this research, or, um, me. It just seems so awkward.
Yeah, I've been sitting here tapping keys nervously for a bit, and got nothing.
It IS hard. I don't know what to say.
My idea over a decade ago was just you find some interesting math, show it to people who are interested and things happen.
Now over a decade later I think you need a marketing plan or something. Also it would help if you didn't spend a lot of time insulting experts in the field where you supposedly found something, relentlessly explaining how you are NOT an expert in that field, and keep talking about how you get little support from the community of that field.
You know, I was thinking this post would go a different way, but it is a harsh situation, if I DO have any fans, and I'm not sure I do! And that's not a big deal.
I prefer BEING a fan, and it's so awesome!!! As a fan of mathematics I've had the best adventure of all time. And it just keeps getting better and better. I keep finding things!!!
So if you're in some way a fan--who may not actually exist so I may be talking to no one--I don't think I have much comfort or hope to offer.
To me it's all about the math. And as a fan of mathematics I am beyond giddy!!!
It just doesn't get any better. From my fan perspective, I am just right in the middle of it, on the greatest fan experience of all time. This post wasn't what I thought it would be, but yeah, I'm the fan. Others gotta fend for themselves.