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Wednesday, March 21, 2018

Talking sense of personal disruption

Have benefited by shifting perspective from talking things one way to more matter-of-fact in terms of explaining. Like carefully walking through how tautological spaces can do algebra for you. Thing is, of course, have known since 2008, when found what I decided to call the Quadratic Diophantine Theorem.

Thing is, years ago when looked to try and find my own math discovery was looking to build on what had already been done. Checking to see if maybe simplifying approaches were available to established discoveries. And definitely was not looking to find some disruptive math technology as way can describe, which could do math itself.

The feeling when realized was not one of awe, but this really hard to explain feeling which can say, is yeah of being emotionally disrupted, and from then on, a search to again find that feeling of solid ground. And also admitted probably had a fight on my hands, which I had never expected or wanted. The only good thing about that though is, time to process.

You do wonder though about simple explanation almost a decade after you have it.

Took me quite some time to explain my prime counting approach simply as well.

May as well note more. Of course I knew had something solid with prime counting in summer 2002. There was no way to doubt. And then in 2004 had a published result, even if things got wacky after. But also knew that results implications: could appear to prove something you could show false with a separate argument. Contradiction. No doubt then, and no doubt now. Resolving lead me to my find of the object ring.

Over and over again just found more as a result of challenging things. Yet also the feeling was not helpful will say. Understand better now.

Realize now that repeatedly would find my sense of reality severely disrupted and maybe the sense of fighting with these results helped in that way. There is a debate have had with myself though as to how much resistance to my research was ever real or imagined by me.

There is a greater sense of stability now though just from the emotions settling down. But still not completely, and yeah, why I like to say, math and emotion do not mix well.

People can think you're arguing with them, when you're trying to find some gap, or silliness or SOMETHING wrong with your own ideas. Or that you're desperate for them to believe, when you're trying to calm your emotions down. And repeat, and repeat and repeat like maybe will feel different with the repetition.

And yeah, eventually it does, I guess. Am talking things better now I think.

The math does not change, of course. And yeah, when you know you have techniques that can help just about anyone do math better than the greatest mathematicians of the past? Really worried about it being picked up, eventually? Nope.

Thing that fascinates me is how we feel can shift how we perceive things. Like how many never just considered that yeah, was giving a better approach in a high profile area than Carl Gauss himself found. So many times have muttered to myself: binary quadratic Diophantine equations. World now has the best way to generally reduce possible, finally.

Yeah because the math found it for me.

Where technically that is, analyzing with tautological spaces was able to complete complex algebraic manipulations easily, using a simple modular algebra approach, which automates much of that process.

And yeah, you learn to talk more technical through the years as well. Much more settled now.

For years though was one human who could not escape that feeling of disruption. Could only run away for so long, or distract myself for so long with other things. Are my ideas.

They are my ideas.


James Harris

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